ok...im like...damn confused here...i REALLY duno wat to think...shld i live my life without him? or shld i live my life wit him...? I LOVE HIM ALOT. eventho i told him i wanna break up...i noe deep down i actually still love him ALOT. seriously...ALOT. it breaks my heart every single time i think of this.
u guyx must be wondering why da hell did i wanna break up wit him when i still LOVE him sooooo damn much...well...we've been together for like...10monthx babyy. itz a long time...not many couplex our age last this long u noe...10monthx is not easy. i made lotx of effort to make it work. i try to avoid argument as much as possible. even when sumtimex...i dun reli like thingx dat u do...i dun tell u dat...i didnt want eu to feel like i was controling eu too much...asking too much frm eu...n being overpossesive. i duwanna be those kinda gf...if i had those kinda bf i wouldnt want a bf too...so i try not to be those kinda gurlx. n i dun think i AM those kinda gurlx ryt? i guess a few of my fwenxz would REALLY agree dat im a gf dat veri open minded...gip lotx of freedom to bf those kind...some gf REALLY control their bf til like wat oni...(=.=) n im not those kind...i try to gip eu freedom as much as possible...sumtimex...when u reli too much den i oni will say...if not...i jz let it be.
we're in da same sch babyy. we can see each other almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. n i loved it. i love seeing eu evry day in sch...seeing eu smile makes me smile. being in da same sch means we can be together most of da time...but den...wat i get is...NOT being together wit eu...eventho we're in da same sch...ishhh...u prefer spending time wit ur fwenxz more than me...i dun blame eu for dat...i sumtimex do dat too...but den sumtimex...aihh...i reli duno how to say it larr...we still need to spend time together u noe? how do i say this...aihhh...reli duno how to say it larrr...
ur VERI important to me babyy. but...am i important to eu? i love u. i need u. i noe i do. i REALLY love euu so much. but alot of thingx dat eu do keeps breaking my heart. evrytime u break my heart...i keep quiet. i keep it to myself. i didnt want eu to noe...WHY? cz i duwan eu to feel bad for breaking my heart...i cry to myself sumtimex...den...i say to myself to get over it n not be upset over sumting like this...itz not worth crying over bcz i chose to have eu as my babyy. so i shldnt complain bout eu. so... a few dayx later...im ok...but den...eventho afta i ok jorr...there's still a scar at my heart...but i try to not think of it n think of da great memories we had instead of da unhapi memories we had...n u noe wat..? hapi memories make me forget bout our unhapi memories.
i still love eu. but i couldnt let eu break my heart any longer. it hurtx evrytime i think of it. but wat to do...i chose to love eu. thanks for da memories babyy. mayb im jz not gud enuf to be ur gf..? i duno if i ever hurt eu. u didnt say. if i did...I AM SORRY. i didnt wanna hurt eu. seeing eu hurt hurts me even more...u can hate me. i wouldnt blame u. i hate myself too...wateva larrr...itz not like it matters does it?
u showed me wat LOVE was. how much it can chg a person. how much it makes someone feel like EVERYTHING WAS OK when everything was not. n u showed how much LOVE can actually hurt.
mayb time'll heal my damn wounds? duno larr...who cares anyway..?